I feel like such a fucking cripple

I want some ice cream, please, fudge ripple

I hit my ankle on the desk

Trying to do an arabesque

It's swelling like an inner tube

My God, I feel like such a boob!

Did I just refer to myself as a boob?

Okay, this rhyming poetry is shit for the birds.

I wasn't trying to do some fancy ballet move, either.

Just propping my feet up cause I am a lazy ass.

Too lazy, in fact, to cut the grass.


Now it hurts, and it's purple.

Nothing in the English language rhymes with "purple."

What else could I put in this here poem?

I don't hate my boss or my job or my family...

Oh, wait.


Ick. Caps lock.

Die, evil aunt!

Much better.

My chest pain hasn't gone away,

but that's a rant for another day.

- dionada