I'm a hapless working slob

wasting time with Uncle Bob

crafting him a suck-ass rhyme

all upon my boss' dime

Getting what is owed to me

quite passive-aggressively...

my finances grace the shitter...

Bossman's rich, and I am bitter.

A testiment to my low life station,

Arkansas was my vacation...

The bossman, he enjoyed the islands

came back rested, tan and smilin'

Would he smile as widely, say,

if he knew that during his foray

I'd stealthly breached his office door

and tinkled therein thrice or more?

And would he be cross if, perchance,

he knew I'd crapped in all his plants?

Would he be angry if he heard

his chi'd been trashed by a misplaced turd?

You bet he would, but that's too bad...

it's the only recourse that I had.

to make him pay for being rich,

'cause I'm a dim, reactive bitch...

Now all of this is, of course, untrue.

These things, I'd never really do...

for fortunes made are oft deserved,

for that, revenge ought not be served.

The karma would be rough, and how,

for planting one's recycled chow...

and tinkling here and there is shady.

I wouldn't do that. I'm a lady.

Much more tact and taste have I.

I wouldn't stoop to poop, no lie.

I've got a much more level head.

I sent his house gay porn instead.

(All untrue. I've more tact. Poop is funny. That's a fact.)

/