THE CEREAL KILLER LAMENT

The cereal killer is around the bend.

Oh, murdered cereal, how it does offend!

He's killing the Wheaties, he's killing the Trix,

The Eyewitness News tells the story at six.

Cops stand on the corner in a shuffling bunch;

That cereal killer has off'ed Captain Crunch.

A kick in the Grape Nuts, a knife to the neck;

Sugar frosting and milk spattered over the deck.

Frankenberry! Count Chocula! How thou art vexed!

That cereal killer could be after you next!

Oh! Who now can save us? Who will be our friend?

When that cereal killer, he comes 'round the bend?

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